Load-shedding:The tear shedder

Yes, the load-shedding made me cry and thank god it wasn’t a bucket full.

There was light and bulbs but no current running in my office which has been a major problem in Nepal.  We needed some copies of documents urgently so I flew off to a shop. So there it all happened. I waited half an hour and only after that, I had my papers photocopied. Around 20 people came and went with photocopied materials. I was the waiter who waited and waited till late comers completed their works and passed by with huge smiles.

I was angry and furious at the owner. Okay, Eckhart Tolle has taught me many things from his book A New World. At times like this when we are feeling low, we always need to think that other people are also suffering and they suffer like us. Try to be patient and calm because we are all working with egoistic mind. But Tolle must have come and see the situation I was in. Damnation! Can I not be furious and not hassle over what was happening and what was not? Aren’t I supposed to be a human who must be suffering too? Why should I suffer while others laugh at my suffering?

The thought grew with each passing minutes. The fighter in me aroused and my imagination got bigger. I wanted to jump high as they teach in martial arts and kick hard even though he was 6ft tall! And I wished to yell into his ear, ‘I need my materials photocopied’. Actually, I did or said nothing but stayed idle, feeling angry at myself and with him.

Finally, when my work got done, he pledged me not to feel angry! Rascal, try to be in my situation and try not to be angry, I said to myself. My anger turned me into a crybaby. As I walked back, my anger broke and my eyes dropped some salty tears. I was crying!

Well after 5 minutes, it became a laughing stock. Still not sobered from the tears hangover, I was slightly laughing at what happened. Was I too fragile to cry over such small matters? Am I too weak a person emotionally? I laughed thinking of my emotional behavior. There was nothing important lost for I have cried big. Crying and laughing calmed me down a bit. It may be because my tears were jammed from long cry less days. Apart from shedding tears while watching sentimental movies, it’s been awhile for I cried and I don’t remember when I last cried.

So folks, shedding tears could sometimes be pleasantry as well as relieving.