LOST in myself

Heavy, heavier and its getting just too heavy

a burden too heavy for a small and fragile being to hold

the pain is pinning me hard and harder on my nerves, hurting terribly

and squeezing all there has been left-'the life in me'

I am all drenched with pain and fears from top to bottom

Can I possibly reach the destined path of my life?

I don't want to get lost all by myself; lost and alone

with no one by my side to help me out little at a time

Can I ask for a little love, care and warmth of hope?

Little of everything; motherly love and fatherly care

Brother’s advices and sisterly talks-bits of everything humane

Otherwise my body would tremble with cold and will die frozen

Losing my way even after knowing the right directions

and losing those beloved because I am an unaware reckless

trying to close my eyes just to ensure I see nothing bad

but all I can feel is darkness grasping and engulfing me by and by

I am not seeing myself and have never seen in the world of 

fighters, survivors and achievers 

rather its very difficult for me to fit into their world easily

because they say people like me don’t deserve to be in it

What has remained, the faith- the little faith in me is fading with time 

the only hope I have is vanishing with my footsteps

But I will strive and try to survive, who the hell comes my way

what happens if I don't win, what will lose if I am lost in myself

I am going to survive all that tortures of unacceptable darkness

all that bad energy chaining me up, what if I am alone

I am at least alive to fight against and I will keep fighting

till the battle stays and as long as my bones and blood remains