future and tons of hopes...

I said to my father last night that I'll be going for my regular morning walk. I check my watch, in pain this morning and I was like 'What the heck!' It was already six in the morning. Late again, I was again late for my walk. I usually go out to stroll when dawn and its being summer, even five in the morning looks like seven. So, I closed my eyes back to get more from my world of dreams. Even in my dreams, pain felt no less real than imaginary. My whole body was aching. Ahhs, oohs….

Summer, last year wasn't so hot. And a thought ran through like a thunder bolt in my head. I said, could it be because of hot girls wearing short shorts or numbers of guys who have build their abs that seemingly helped to feel hot? No, no I said to myself. Global warming, it is because of that. Well then, another reason could be facebook too. You know, last year facebook wasn't so popular like it has been this year. So in one way or the other facebook is creating its way in making earth hot and hotter.

The sky became darker but cooler. I was smiling little. Finally, Mr. Rain is here to stop by. Oh no, I don't mean to say Bi Rain, just Rain, downpour? When we were kids we have this nursery poem recited for rain to stop raining but today another poem came to my head. I made a poem, not a good one but a poem nonetheless.

I have waited such a long time,

Not ages but months for you to come

Please cry me a little, a drop or two

I wonder how beautiful and blissful would it be

When your tears help others like me

Hello Mr. Rain, can't you cry

A little for me, a drop or two

I promise not to cry myself from heat

Not to shout at you for being so mean

I won't tell father that you cried

Please, Mr. Rain can't you

Can’t you cry me a little, a drop or two

I promise not to tell others

Not even father that you cried

And I promise you, I won't cry

31st May 2012, end of MAY. May was more like a confusion month for me. May be, maybe not....was all I could think this month.

May has left in maybe and maybe not. June is here with hope. So many thoughts for tomorrow and what it brings. 

How are you?

How are you? 

TIRED. TIRED. TIRED.

Feels like I am having trouble breathing. Nothing much has happened as to say but it is tiring. What have I done to feel all of it? Same thing, everyday. Yeah, it is very hard indeed to stick to one schedule and follow it all over again. I know I need to maintain a diet, do morning walk, a month with no egg consumption, book reading, writing articles and most importantly to act. Yes, act so as not to show how I feel. Generally, I am a mood shower, I make faces as and with situation which seems to be one of my weakest point. At least, I act in front of him. He, who is my "crush" and has been. 

The Blank Image

BLANK. BLANK. Like a white clear sheet of paper.

Gently and roundly, she rubbed and pressed her side of the brain in a hope to understand it. NOTHING. She takes in a long breath so as not to faint herself. Obviously, they are friends. Good friends to be precise. She doesn't understand why she can't picture him. But why is it like that?

Her mind is occupied with unwanted, irregular and random bizarre thoughts. What happened she question herself? Up until now in her life, its first time that she can't read herself. She knows she'll never succeed in reading it completely but at the least she tries to figure it out. To her surprise, she succeeds in reading her minds and those unlucky times when she curse her mind in developing such stories.

I know how he looks like. But she doesn't.

His features, his newly build maturity in face and his body just above average heighted. That is how he looks like to me when I have to tell someone about him. But for her its just a blank white sheet she explains it is not even lined, you know. I see him but I keep forgetting him. If I close my eyes and tried to picture him he becomes invisible. So at times when we meet, I tried to look closer and well. What he looks like, what kind of clothes he wears but all in vain. The more I tried to picture him, the more blurry it becomes, you know like a whirlpool of thoughts where he gets lost. He is everywhere that she finds it hard to tell where he actually is. 

Words have Jinxed Expressions

More than words. How many feelings are laid unexpressed? I mean so many times I would like to describe what I feel and how it feels like to be. There are hundreds tiny moments which I cannot put in words. Words seem to be lacking or may be my vocabulary but sure is limited every now and then.

I love you. 

A very common form of expression used day to day. Its easy to say but can you make out how deep, how much and how true is the expression. That's what words are doing. Words are just acting as means but improper one to be delivered properly among masses. You say you love someone but for him or her it could just be another person listed to be loved. That someone hardly gets the real picture. Isn’t it going to be awesome if we know feelings and expressions in details? Won't that be much more better?

I wish if our world wouldn't just be piles of words rather a place where we could express ourselves deeply, completely and fully. Imagine a world with no talking nonetheless we can express. What if we can talk and communicate through nerves. Like passing communication via other means but we don't have to speak. So that we could get the message more clearly yet complete. Additionally, we don't have to keep on listening to others.